My College Pastor put this out, and thought it would be good to share.
14 Old Testament Ways to Get a Wife.
Most college students are constantly trying to look forward into their futures, its the nature of being in a transitional phase of life. The thing is, when you are looking into the future, you quickly realize that you desire someone to share that future with - a spouse. So now on the cusp of adulthood, most college campus’s become a major place for finding that future spouse. The whole process can be super exciting, gut-wrenching, and extremely painful all wrapped up together!
So…I figured I’d make it easier on everyone and just share 14 examples from the Old Testament on how to get a wife.
1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. - (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3)
3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)
4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep.-Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)
7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife -David (I Samuel 18:27)
9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone. -Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. - Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a … woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.” - Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
12. Kill any husband and take his wife. -David (2 Samuel 11)
13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. -Onana and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
14. Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. - Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
There you go…now you don’t have to worry about that anymore! All that’s left is actually studying, passing, and graduating…